"She will never be mine, never. It wasn't I who made her cheeks red, and It was not I who had made them white now. And she will never, with anxiety in her heart, rush across the street with a letter adressed to me. Life passed me by"

i found the text on cosette much' blog
i'm feeling a bit sad, so i think that's why it touches me
goodnight<3

vrije handen

je pakte mijn hand
zonder dat ik die van jou pakte.
je hield hem vast
en mijn hand zit gevangen.
aan mijn hand zit mijn arm, aan die arm ik
en ik loop gedwongen hand in hand met jou.
ik wil je hand loslaten, ik wil dat je mijn hand loslaat.
ik wil je vergeten
ik wil doen alsof je er niet bent
alsof je er nooit bent geweest
ik wil ieders hand pakken, vasthouden, behalve die van jou.
ik wil dat je me met rust laat.
ik wil vrije handen
ik wil handen vrij hebben om het leven een hand te geven,
me aan haar voor te stellen, en nooit meer los te laten.
vrije handen, wil ik.

it's a poem i once wrote, and i thought i'd share
i tried to translate it, but got stuck, so i'm sorry

a few more pictures that Lieke sended me.

cees came back from Paris yesterday, and went straight to my home
so we could sleep together last night.
ah i love him!
hah, i think that's it for now, cause i have nothing more to tell!

so today i had a shoot with Lieke Romeijn
and i was nervous haha! so nervous, that i took the wrong bus, and ended up being too late
typical. but it was lovely!
lieke is such a lovely girl, and she made me feel comfortable during the shoot.
this is the only picture i've seen so far, but she'll send me more soon (:
i'm not sure i did well, but i love the way she took the pictures
and now i am tired so i'm off to bed, sweet dreams!

i've been babysitting this evening, and when i got home we had a little party
with mom dad marsha and yonna because yonna graduated (:
cees went to Paris today, cause he is going to demonstrate for human rights in Iran!
and i won't see him untill monday, and that means i haven't seen him in a week
and i miss him sooo much!
but tomorrow i am going to do a shoot with Lieke Romeijn
and i am quite nervous hahah because i love her photography,
(you should really check her site! it's amazing!)
and it's the first time ever for me
but i'm sure it'll be okay, cause i am also looking forward to it (:

Today is the day that..

Today is the day that i am super proud of both my friends
Jolein and Hansje and my youngest sister Yonna, because they all graduated!
it's the day that i went to Arnhem with my mom, and bought an incredible great blanket
wich i will take a picture of later, it's the day that my dad mom and i gone out to dinner,
the day that melle spend hours trying to jump on my new blanket,
the day that i couldn't stop cuddling wobbe,
the day that there was thunder, wich i love,
the day that i ended in my bed, under my new blanket
calling my lovely boyfriend, and letting you all know what my day was lovely.

ohh i loved the hangover II xd
it was just super funny. and i went twice.. :p
and now it's lovely weather, but i am just having a lazy day.
Tomorrow i am going back to my home, and then i can hug melle again!
but untill then, i'll kiss cees hahah.

i am considering buying melle a friend.
i didn't at first, because i have a lot of time to spend with her
but when i'm at cees' home, she misses 'someone' to play with.
and though it's super cute that she follows me everywhere around, i think she'd be happier
if she had a friend of her own race.
so i want to get one out of the animal shelter!
because there are só many bunnies and other animals who just should have a second chance
and a lot of animals in the animal shelter haven't had a great life.
so i might go 'speeddating' with melle!
(really, thats not a joke, thats how they call it xd)
wich means i bring Melle along to the animal shelter, and let her pick her new friend
because whats the use of buying a new friend when your other bunny doesnt even like him?

most people do not know this, but a bunny is not a 'simple' pet to have.
thats why in the netherlands almost 80% of the rabbits doesnt get older than 1 year old
(the average should be about 8-10 years, thats just sick?!)
because of people with a lack of knowledge about rabbits.
so that's also why i don't want melle to have baby bunnies;
there are allready too many bunnies who don't have a home.

now i only have to convince my mom and dad that it's not such a big deal to have anóther bunny xd

i am at Cees his home, and i'm so happy to see him again!
i reallyreallyreally love him and i can't stop kissing and cuddling.
but, i miss melle! i'm used to the fivehundred hugs i get every single day
and hah, she is so funny xd
she found out how to growl and moan
and in our garden, she has a cage as well, but (only) when she's in there,
she's suuuuper territorial, so she growls and she beats with her little paw on the ground
and then when i pick her up, it's all okay xd
but, when i'm patting her and i stop, she makes such funny noises and wants me to continue xd
she's a little bit spoiled, so i don't, but it's cute hahah
ok, enough about melle!
cees and i are going to the hangover II tonight!

aw i love love lóve wobbe!

pictures from a few days ago when Jolein and i took a walk with the wob
i had a great time and it makes me smile just to look at the pictures!
today i went to the city to return a dress that didn't fit
and i came back with one dress (oh my its super pretty!)
a skirt, a black top and leggings :p
but, i needed the leggings, cause i have none left without holes in it.
and tomorrow i will fiiiinally see cees again!
it's about two weeks ago since i last saw him, so i'm excited!
we'll probably go to the movies and see The Hangover II (hah, that will be cool)
and i am watching The Hangover I right now hahah. i love/hate Alen xd
i hope you all have great days, too (:

(oh and! i dyed my hair with Henna! it turned out great
i was soooo scared it was going to be green :p
but it actualy looks the same like it did when i dyed it with chemical stuff
but now it looks healthy after dying!
and i just wanted to say thanks to the anoniem person who gave me the Yoghurt -tip!)

this is a drawing made by an 18 year old girl from Pennsylvania; Lauren

i had to post it, because i think it looks stunning =p
thank you Lauren!

i like late night kisses, clumsy feet, sunlight under the water and bare feet,

dew on grass and waking up with a clear blue sky, trampolines, squinting eyes,
playing the same song all day long, jazz music and thunder after a long warm day, watching bridget jones every single night, toothepaste kisses and people who are covered in freckles, walks in the rain, a smile from a stranger, a smile from a not-so-stranger, skylanterns, disney movies and old voices

YMCA!!

a few days ago Hansje and i hung out together
and we did a YMCA hahaha
and i thought it'd be funny to put the song under the pictures
so there it is! (use some imagination for the 'A'..)
i tried to lead us to the parc nearby the city, but somehow i couldn't find it..
hahaha, so we end up in this beautifull parc, 20 minutes from the place i tried to walk to :p

Yonna and i 'planking' hahahaha xd

this is what the parc looked like (:

they were absolutely nót afraid of humans! hahah

yesterday, my mom dad younger sis and i went to Germany

to visit my older sister!
she lives in Germany for a while, because she's doing a stage there.
and then we went to Neusse (thank you marie-sophie)
some art-parc or something
but it was very pretty!

today i am having a lazy day, and i'm going to buy hair-dye
but i am thinking about going to dye my hair with Henna
because the chemicals in normal dye start to damage my hair, and the colour doesnt last long
Henna is good for your hair, but it's kinda scary to dye it, because
it may turn out green.. xd
Also, it would be the first time in 4 years i dye my hair with an other colour
and i actually like my colour!
but oh well, dead hair with a pretty colour isn't that great i guess =p
so, fingers crossed, and hope it won't turn green!

pictures from last week
my mom graduated for her study, and i am so proud of her!
so we went to the graduation, and it was lovely (: