dear thom, he's just one big heart full of love hahah

the funny thing is, he walks fasts when we're going homewards, which means food xd

today i visited the old lady Bouwmans at the elderly home

because she turned 90 today!

and hahaha, i may have thousands of fans for my hair

but Mvr. Bouwmans isn't one of them xd

she always says i should cut it, or do something 'nice' with it 

and often she says it's 'so messy!' and she finds red 'gives me a poor look'

all i can do then is smile xd she's lovely

aww you can probably hardly imagine how much i miss him hahah!

it's terrible, we got so used to be able to see eachother about 5 days a week

that it's almost hard to not see eachother for a few days xd

but allright, just two more nights and then i'll squeeze the air out of his lungs

(i'm a good air-out-of-lungs-squeezer)

but okay, today i met up with a friend and the whole city is getting excited

because tomorrow it's queensday. which means; another excuse to get drunk and party.

my friend went to amsterdam, to do such things while i went back home, looking forward to read my book.

you know, i feel like because of facebook and other social media things

it seems like the whole world is partying, every night, all day, the whole week.

everyone posts about his or her cool and fun things in life, which creates (in my opinion)

a wrong picture of what life really is like.
and i believe it gets a lot of people insecure, feel like they're missing a lot, and not taking part in life. 

i just noticed myself feeling weird because i seemed to be the only one turning back home that night

instead of going out. 

but secretly i actually enjoyed my book very much.

and now that i've written all this, i don't know what my point exactly is, sorry xd

 i can not wait untill the weather will allow me to wear this outside the door hahah

the top is from h&m, the pants and shoes from zara

and the necklace was once my grandma's

 here you can find it on lookbook

when i got home on friday melle was so happy hahah

it's just adorable how she gets all jumpy as soon as she sees me

she even gets grumpy when i don't pat her the whole time hahah

cees is on vacation in france (lucky bastard! it's about 30 degrees over there!)

and i am reading the second book of the hungergames

which i will continue... right now haha!

sweet dreams<3

oh shitty day,
it's kinda odd how some days seem to last a few hours longer than some others

luckily jolein and mama will come to visit me tonight.

and hopefully my mom will bring me the second book from 'the hungergames'

they're catchy and easy to read, and very exciting!
 

here, a song present for you

another look with a dress from olive clothing
the coat's from h&m and the shoes from causewaymall
yesterday i went horseriding with yonna
and it was just great to feel thom's strong back underneath me
we don't use a saddle nor a bridle, which i think is a good thing.
my sister took some pictures, but i'll show them later.
this is my last week already here at the clinic
it's gone so fast! i'll leave at the first of may.
i'm very happy i won't have to celebrate my birthday at the clinic.
i had to celebrate both my 17'th and 18'th birthday here.
but i am going to make sure i'll never have to go back here!

as i was going trough some pictures on my mobile phone
(like you do, when you can't sleep)
i just fell in love with these hah
i love the picture from my parents and wobbe <3!
poor little wob was too tired to keep on walking, so they put her in the panniers
and she just looks so silly-cute xd
and ofcourse, a picture with cees in it always brings a smile on my face (:

how i love olive clothings dresses!
this floral one is so pretty and i wear it a lot hahah
see it HERE on lookbook
i am glad to be home, and enjoy my time.
this weekend i hope to catch some sun while horseriding with tom
(our cute silly horse)
now i will cuddle my way trough the night with cees
if i could, i would purr.

Give away winner!

oh finally, the winner of the romwe give-away!
congratulations lauramach23@hotmail.com! you'll be contacted soon

and i hope you'll enjoy your price!

and now i am off to go home for a long weekend
i can't wait to cuddle my mellie!
oh and you can expect some more posts this weekend from me, i guess(:

just a very tiny post to wish you all sweet dreams<3
(tomorrow i have permission for a day off to cees eeeheee!)

it's never easy to walk your way back in the halls of the clinic
but the weekend has been lovely.
today my mama and i went for a walk in the nature
i always get a lot of energy out of the nature, it calms me down and makes me feel better.
but now its bed time, unfortunately without cees or melle.
so i'll just keep looking forward to friday!
(oh and do you recognize the second adress, too? xd)

i think that hugs are my favourite things in the whole world.
so since i got back home for the weekend (i have to go back on sunday)
, i started collecting hugs from everyone.
hah, melle was so happy! i can't stop cuddling her (or cees)
but alright, enough cuddle stories.
my new look!
the top is from She Inside , the dress underneath is from h&m and the shoes secondhand.
have a lovely weekend <3!

i have read every single comment i got on my previous post,
and my heart is filled with warmth because of all your incredible lovely words
and i just want to say, allthough words couldn't express what i feel;
merci bien<3!

i am doing well here, and this weekend i am allowed to go home
and i can't wait to cuddle melle and cees and wobbe and oh.. everyone.
hahah, i am such a sentimental dummy.
yesterday on the visiting hours my dad took me to 'the hunger games'
pretty much an impressive movie!
but about a week ago, i've seen 'The intouchables'
and i think i can say in all honesty it's my new favourite movie xd
if you haven't seen it yet, make sure you will!

the winter months have always been hard for me
and it's a great time for eating disorders to sneak their way back in
which i think it did, last months.
i lost quite some weight during all my flu's, and can't find the energy to regain it by myself.
and therefore i am writing you right now from out of the clinic, again.
it's not like i really 'relapsed', it's more like i want to prevent a real relapse.
i realised that if i want to move in with cees, i should be slighlty better.
it's only for three weeks, instead of 6 months.
and in these weeks i believe i can grow healthier, and enjoy my life much better.
it was hard for me to decide whether or not to write you all about this
because i do not want my blog to be about a negative point in my life, that i am trying to leave behind. but on the other hand, it's still a part of me, and i think it's not more than fair
to let you know i am still working on myself.
i hope everyone who reads this will just read, and let it be, because i am doing the best i can!

i will try to keep blogging, but it might be less frequent.
with love, as always!

ik wil lachen nooit meer huilen, ik wil vallen zonder builen, ik wil mandarijnen zonder pit, ik wil haren zonder klit, ik wil iets tussen staan en zit, ik wil leven zonder later, ik wil drinken met een kater, ik wil eindeloos lang dansen, ik wil verbod op hangjongeren-ganzen, ik wil zes maand zomer zes maand lente, ik wil veel!

i did not try to translate this, because that's just quite impossible hahah.

romwe give away!

aw my sleepy baby melle xd
i love it when she crawls up and lays on her belly in her traveling cage like in this picture
you can even see her teeeeeth <3!
i have a lot of little 'holes' for her on my room where she can sit or play.
i have recaptured cees in my bed, and now we're watching soccer and cuddling melle
so you know i am a happy girl right now haha

and i love my new blouse from romwe!
but i have something for you too, hopefully you'll enjoy?
romwe has given my blog the chance to do a give away and this is what you can win;
one of the collars on the picture below, and $60 freebies (which is 60$)!
all you have to do is sign up on romwe here (that's where you'll get the freebies)
then leave a comment below with the same email adress as the one you signed up with
and on the 20th of april i'll announce the winner!

hahahahah i think no one who calls him or herself a 'blogger'
has ever explained a give away this long..
i am a horrible 'blogger'. and i find that to be a strange word.

first off, the winner of the Sheinside giveaway!

congratulations Lucie (muffinpasteque@hotmail.fr)
you'll be contacted soon (:

i am terribly in love with this new dress from Olive Clothing
they are by far my favourite webshop hahah
which is something special, cause i nearly ever love web-shopping
there's nothing better than fitting the clothes, touching the fabrics, feel and smell the clothes
ew that sounds creepy xd
(socks from zara, belt secondhand and shoes zalando)
lookbook!

a lovely day with lein<3

Doortje vintage winner!

aw don't you love this picture? xd
it would have been complete with Wobbe in it as well!
but okay, it's the first of april which means it's time to announce..
the winner of the doortje-vintage give-away!
congratulations Mona (kuroi.tenshi@hotmail.de)
you'll be contacted by doortje-vintage soon, and i hope you'll love the item you picked out (: